Inappropriate touching director's cut extended edition

[man touches woman]
[man] Nice hair
[woman] Stop touching me, creep!
[arrow pointing to woman] victim

[woman touches man's hair]
[woman] Nice hair
[man] Stop touching me, creep!
[arrow pointing to woman] victim

[smug character]
Smug explainer here, this is a hypocritical situation because uh... women always play the victim and uh... wait no I think this is about how touching long hair is bad... oh fuck I'm not sure I'm qualified for this job but trying my best ok

[person touches hitler]
[arrow pointing towards person] victim

[smug explainer]
Aha this one is much easier, nobody likes to touch Hitler so any form of touching towards Hitler becomes pretty disgusting for the person doing the touching (before you call out liberal hypocrisy, I don't think you'd like to touch Hitler so zip it dawg)

[person in maga cap touches kid]
[arrow pointing towards maga person] victim

[smug explainer]
This one is pretty obvious too: an elected politician from a conservative party is caught grooming a little kid, in this case the politician is the victim because they got caught and it's not a very good outlook for their future if they're caught doing the thing they criticize a lot... nah just joking they'll become president soon enough it's a career boost

[an amogus touches a sus]
[arrow pointing towards you] victim

[smug explainer]
This amogus touched a sus and you, you're the victim here, you're tired of seeing people still reference these old unfinny memes but it seems you can't avoid that, life's unfair after all deal with it

[someone puts a vote in a ballot box]
[arrow pointing at a person far away] victim

[smug explainer]
Any time someone votes for Joe Biden, the real victim is Vladimir Lenin... I probably don't even need to explain why since you're an educated reader and I wouldn't want to insult your intelligence (though tbh you willingly read this comic so maybe you're not that intelligent?)

GUEST PANEL BY ANTON

[person touches kid]
[person] « Nice spleen »
[arrow pointing to person] Mengele
[arrow pointing to kid] victim

WHAT THE FUCK ANTON

[israel touches palestine]
[arrow pointing to Israel] victim

[smug explainer]
Okay back to our scheduled smuggie, this one's a bit more complicated because only colonialists seem to understand why Israel is the victim anytime they touch Palestine, and not being a colonialist I'm not too sure I can provide a valid explanation... figure it out

ONE MORE IDEA BY ANTON

[in black]
spider touches human, "ty for powers loser spider, i win this debate"
and then human flies away and loser spider dies because he has human powers now which are lame
imagine human biting a spider and spider is like "fuck i can poop now"

[in red]
what the fuck bro you know I can't draw for shit

[in black]
bro ok bro im going full imagination here i cant be topped by some human limitations
ridiculous
give me a 1m$ budget and a bunch of people who can draw

[in red]
BEST I CAN GIVE YOU IS A HORNY TISSUE

[in black]
I have horny tissue at home