How to convert a conservative (real)

I am a conservative asshole,
I hate women and trans people,
I hate jews and poors and myself,
USA USA USA bald eagle screech

As a thought experiment I will prove how VIRGIN communism is by reading the first word of the first page of Das Kapital

[the character reads the word "THE" and appears shook]

[the character is now holding a soy bean]

Wow it turns out conservatism had one big weakness, theory! I am now a communist, thanks Karl Marx!

I hate private property

I love sharing wealth