Reading comprehender

[title card]
THE ADVENTURES OF
READING COMPREHENDER

[reading comprehender]
I am very smart

[e-mail]
You have been gifted a mega gazillion in ILcurrency by a nigerian prince

[reading comprehender]
Ohohohoooo I'm about to become a super wealthy person!

[text message]
FROM: person of the opposite gender
MESSAGE: Hi what's up :)

[reading comprehender]
Ohohohoooo this person wants to have sex with me I'm about to get laid!

[blue]
I think we should vote in elections

[reading comprehender]
Hmmmm this person is clearly against any form of direct action, hates unionizing, and never does any activism whatsoever

[purple]
I don't think Stalin was a good person

[reading comprehender]
Hmmmm this person is clearly a liberal aka not a leftist, and probably also an anti-communist and a CIA spook

[green]
I think veganism is a good thing

[reading comprehender]
Hmmmm this person probably wants to seize all the meat stored in my fridge and force me to eat only soy for the rest of my life

[grey]
I think anarchism is quite interesting

[reading comprehender]
Hmmm this person must be advocating for a lawless society in which crime is unpunished and rules don't exist at all

[orange]
Israel is genociding palestinian people

[reading comprehender]
Hmmmm this person obviously hates jews and should be called out and punished for their display of antisemitism

THAT'S ALL FOLKS