Past crimes

Sooo... we did centuries of murders and genocides and more murders and more genocides and then colonialism and more colonialism over and over again and again...

But one day, we decided it was pretty bad, so we slowed down on that stuff

Therefore, we would like to celebrate our country as a beacon of enlightment for the rest of the world

Please applaud us for genociding less

[photo of a crowd applauding]

We truly are the best
[smug smile]