Ancient smug tales

REAL AND SMUG TALES OF ANCIENT SOCIETIES

[blue]
I wish there was a way to pass on my knowledge to future generations instead of losing everything when I die

[pink]
Mate I have great news I just came up with an invention that could do exactly what you're looking for

[blue]
No way, tell me all about it!

[crocodile]
Don't mind me I'm unrelated to the story

[pink]
Yea I invented this thing called WRITING

[blue]
Sounds awesome!
How did you come up with it?

[pink]
I read about it

[blue]
OK

[pink]
the

[orange]
We are now gathering in tribes, that makes us stronger, now let's come up with an idea called "centralized government" I'm sure it couldn't go wrong in any way whatsoever

[brown]
I'm the narrator
It did not go wrong
In any way

[yellow]
I live in Persia,
My despot is Persian,
I speak Persian,
I am of Persian culture,
I look like a Persian,
I guess... I am a Persian?
Is that my race?

[blue]
Race?
What's that?
Why would we want to have races?

[yellow]
I don't know
It sounds cool

[blue]
I don't see that ever going wrong

[green]
I just invented clothes
They will keep us warm
This is going to be an awesome new invention

[brown]
I just invented scarcity
It will nicely complement your invention in some way I'm sure

I found a rock
Rocks are awesome
I wish I could have more rocks like this awesome one

[one era later]

Ugh yet another rock subscription service, there's so many rock subscription services, this is an allegory for the future that only high IQ individuals will understand

I just came up with both memes and intellectual property
Now you can't use my meme
There is no joke
I hate restrictive intellectual property
That's it that's the whole thing

[green] We started building HUTS
[pink] Nice, we should organize them into neighborhoods
[green] And then create something called property value
[pink] I bet it will always go up
[green] What about when it doesn't?
[pink] Simple, we'll invent something called a bubble
[green] And what happens when it bursts?
[pink] Nothing a recession can't fix

[green, holding a rock]
Bear witness!
I have seized the means of production

[yellow]
What means of production?
That's just another rock subscription service you're holding there, mate

[green, angry]
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU