I am about to unveil my NEW INVENTION which will SOLVE CLIMATE CHANGE
Please get hyped for the most important day in human history...
Drumroll...
[big machine]
ORPHAN RECYCLER
Insert 1000 crushed orphans inside this machine in order to reduce humanity's carbon footprint by 1% for one day*
* Results not guaranteed: This is an experimental device which probably won't work in practice, it exists mainly to get governmental subsidies and money from investors. PS: We don't crush the orphans ourselves.