The Italian vegan

I am a-italian american-a anti vegan strawman person-a
You say you no eat-a-da meat but how will I make-a la pizza without-a da meat-a?
Check-a-mate veganism I am a real-a person and I win

[is being bitten by an animal]

Oh no a cute-a animal is eating-a my hands
Maybe it is because I am a strawman-a and cute-a animal like-a da straw
How will I talk-a with my hands now???

[four animals are devouring the character's limbs]

I am dying in a horrible-a suffering
Please end-a veganism
Strawmen are a-people too
Mamma mia